Ever heard the expression “Nurses Eat Their Young”? Somehow it’s meant to be humorous, though those who’ve experienced that abuse know it’s anything but.
Perhaps you, right now, are a victim of a of bullying from other health care “professionals.” Where can you turn? First, take a look at what Brittney Wilson, RN, BSN, the blogger behind thenerdynurse.com, has compiled on the topic.
She has been researching and sharing her findings about the topic ever since experienced nurse-on-nurse bullying during her three years as a floor nurse, many years ago. Now it is one of her areas of expertise.
It’s important to start in the right place on the Nerdy Nurse’s comprehensive site, so you don’t get lost. (It also covers technology topics – thus the name – as well as items of interest in the day-to-day life of nurses, such as the most comfortable shoes for men and women).
My pick for where to begin your research is this post, called “Nurses Eat Their Young: Resources for Lateral Violence” because in it Brittney curates from all over the web and beyond. These are resources that she herself found or that readers submitted to her – all are useful.
You can go to the type of resource that appeals to you: books, scholarly articles, posts from around the blogosphere, discussion forums, and CE credit offerings from professional organizations. And the list of options under each category is not skimpy – I counted 12 articles.
For a detailed resource on lateral violence and nurses, you may want to choose from these three books that Brittney recommends:
Confident Voices: The Nurses’ Guide to Improving Communication & Creating Positive Workplaces – By Beth Boynton RN MS
Ending nurse-to-nurse hostility: why nurses eat their young and each other- By Kathleen Bartholomew
From Silence to Voice: What Nurses Know and Must Communicate to the Public – Suzanne Gordon & Bernice Buresh
For my money, the personal experience posts on The Nerdy Nurse site itself are the most instructive (she also lists them under their own category). You get a blow-by-blow (excuse the term) account of a young nurse’s life was made a living hell by a group of hostile co-workers, and how she overcame the abuse.
In one blog post (titled “Respect and Dignity”) Brittney gives this overview of her situation – it’s gripping:
“I was being called a liar, incompetent, and made to look a fool. At the most difficult point in my young life, pregnant, postpartum, the death of my mother, and as a new grad nurse, I had this lovely stressful nugget to add to my plate. Everyday I had to make the best of the situation where the other nurses refused to help my patients and I suffered. Unlike many, I did speak up, and often. Yet for fear for the loss of my job, and the livelihood of my family, I kept continuing to go to an unsafe work environment in the hopes that eventually, somehow, it would stop.”
You’ll find a lot of value in reading Brittney’s other posts about how her story twists and turns, first to another shift (away from her tormentors), and then into a new direction — clinical informatics.
How about you – do you have a favorite resource that helps you deal with a hostile work environment? If so, we’d love to hear about it.
Jebra Turner is a health writer in Portland, Oregon. Visit her online at www.jebra.com.
The weather is finally warming up and you may be dreaming about your vacation this summer. Travel doesn’t have to break the bank. If you’re looking for ways to save on your vacation, consider these four tips.
Drive
Airfare is continuing to rise. The average roundtrip domestic airfare, including taxes, in 2013 was $363. If you’re single, that may not sound like a lot. But if you are a family of four, airfare alone could cost you $1,452. To save money, consider driving instead (if you have a reliable car or van). You’ll also see a lot more along the way.
Stay Close to Home
When the economy sank in 2008, the term “staycations” became popular. It may not sound too exciting to stay in your hometown or region for a vacation, but if you’re open-minded, there are probably lots of fun activities that you’ve never done because everyday life gets in the way. Look for museums, wineries, festivals, amusement parks, concerts, art fairs, etc. Consider it a challenge to plan and enjoy an entire week off in your own neck of the woods. You may discover a whole new appreciation for your hometown.
Earn Rewards
Do you use a cash back credit card or mileage card? If not, you should consider one for the rewards. If you are a responsible spender, and not in credit card debt, these cards offer discounts and miles toward your summer adventure. Research reward card options on CreditCards.com. If you enjoy flexibility, consider a cash back card. You’ll earn a percentage (usually 1%) back for every dollar you spend. Most cash back cards also offer special promotions during certain months such as 5% cash back at restaurants. Over time you could cash in your cash back bonus on travel expenses.
Double Up
Another great money saver for travelers is sharing lodging expenses with a fellow traveler or even another family. Grab a friend for a weekend getaway and slash your hotel room fees in half by sharing a double room. Or, organize a family weekend at the lake with another family and rent a vacation home for a week and split the cost. A short weekend trip is a good way to see if you enjoy traveling with others. If you find that you do, you can plan a longer trip together in the future.
Denene Brox is a Kansas City-based freelance writer.
Image credit: Darren Robertson/freedigitalphotos.net
Brittney Wilson, RN, BSN, also known as “The NerdyNurse,” blogs at thenerdynurse.comand authored The NerdyNurse‘s Guide to Technology. But a love of technology wasn’t the genesis of her blogging journey.
“What led me to starting my blog was a negative experience as a floor nurse. I was bullied by most everyone in the department. I complained to everybody I could, but nothing happened,” she remembers. “Then I went online to see if anyone had experienced some of the same things and could maybe help me. I started compiling information on lateral violence in nursing, and sharing it on my blog.”
Wilson worked on that floor for three years, and finally did see improvement in the bullying situation. But it came after she’d decided to train in clinical informatics as a way of combining her interest in both nursingand technology.
What turned things around? Plenty of difficult conversations with her manager and HR. “My boss got disgruntled with me when I brought up the term harassment. But then she backed off. Basically, when I let her know that I felt she was allowing the situation to occur, and that legally it was an issue, then her tune changed,” she explains.
“Also, I was ultimately moved to night shift. Getting away from the toxic nurses really made a big improvement, and I think being on night shift and being ‘out of sight/out of mind’ of the manager made things much easier for me.”
Wilson encourages nurseswho are being bullied to speak up. Ask co-workers and even patients who witnessed the harassment to speak to management, but don’t count on it. Ask your manager to conduct an investigation into your claims by interviewing other staff members.
What if that doesn’t improve the situation? Wilson suggests a bullied nurse first start with “their manager, then director, then DON, and possible even the CEO. A nurse must make sure he/she has attempted to follow the chain of command before involving someone from outside the organization.”
After that, consider then involving your nursingorganization (if a member), state board of nursing, accrediting agencies, and news organizations.
Wilson believes that blogging about her personal experience of being bullied helped make her stronger as a person and as a nurse. (Sometimes growth is painful.)
Though the treatment she experienced from the bullies on her floor could never be excused, it ultimately led to her new career in informatics and a blog that’s helped other tormented nursesto survive – and thrive.
Jebra Turner is a health writer in Portland, Oregon. You can visit her online at www.jebra.com.
Being a nurse is hard. And stressful. Depending on where you work your daily stress level can escalate from 0 to 10 in a matter of seconds when a critical situation arises. Even worse, the average nurse’s stress level can fluctuate greatly over the course of a shift frying ones’ nerves by the time it’s time to punch the clock and go home.
What’s the best way for a nurse to manage daily on-the-job stressors? By using stress relieving methods on a regular basis. There are many ways to ease tension when stressed.
Here are 8 ways to combat stress:
Take a deep breath. Deep breathing does more than giving the brain a boost of oxygen. Stopping to take a deep breath when times get rough has been shown to reduce cortisol levels, which in turn can lead to reduced stress and anxiety.
Listen to music.Music has a soothing effect people and can prove beneficial when tension runs high.
Exercise. Exercise releases endorphins, which instantly makes you feel better. Imagine punching out your stress on a punching bag or running your best mile. Trust me, after you’re done exercising you’ll feel much better.
Cuddle with your pet. Dogs and cats are good cuddle buddies and can help you feel more at ease when times get tough.
Hug somebody! Have you ever hugged someone while you were feeling tense? If you’re like most people, you immediately feel a release during the act. That is stress leaving your body!
Get a massage. Getting a massage from someone can relieve physical tension in your muscles. Another added benefit from a massage is human touch. Think of the human touch of a massage the same way you would of receiving a hug.
Write. Writing when stressed can help release stress-related symptoms. Have you ever heard of someone writing a letter and then burning it to “let it go?” Writing allows you to say whatever it is you need to say about what is bothering you. You don’t have to burn it when you’re done because the act of writing is actually a release within itself.
Go out with friends. Surrounding yourself with people you love and trust is good for your mental health. Aside from being able to speak to someone about what is bothering you, you could probably use a fun night out.
In addition to working as a RN, Nachole Johnson is a freelance copywriter and an author with her first book, You’re a Nurse and Want to Start Your Own Business? The Complete Guide, available on Amazon. Visit her ReNursing blog at www.renursing.com for more ideas on how to reinvent your career.
It can be difficult to know what to say when someone passes away. Death is often an uncomfortable topic, making it hard to express your feelings of condolence and sympathy to the survivor. Here are some effective ways you can express your condolences based on what is appropriate and what you feel the most comfortable with.
A Letter of Condolence
Back before technology made instant communication the norm, letters were the traditional way of expressing condolences. Even with the other options available, they are still a good way to show your support and concern. The main benefit with letters of condolences is that they can be read when it is convenient and re-read as often as needed. They can be shared with others to help with the grieving process.
When writing a letter of sympathy and condolence, you should always think about the person to whom you are writing as well as the deceased. Your letter should reflect the relationship you have or had with each person. Stay true to your personality. If you are a more formal person, then it is appropriate that your letter also sound more formal. On the other hand, if you are more laid-back and casual, your letter can also demonstrate that. Don’t be concerned that there is a right or wrong way to sound in a letter.
Messages of Condolence
Thanks to the internet, you can now send messages of support as soon as you hear the sad news of someone’s death. This allows you to offer support immediately, often when it is most needed. A quick text message or email can let the person know you heard the news and are offering your condolences without going into great detail. This is also a good method for those people that prefer short messages.
When writing a message, remember that you can keep it short and sweet. The person reading the message may be busy so it is acceptable to get right to the point. If you feel that you need to say more, you can follow up with a letter or phone call at a later time.
Flowers
If you do not know the family or didn’t know the deceased very well but want to express your condolences, it is perfectly acceptable to just send flowers or a financial donation to the organization of the family’s choice.
A simple card with a single message can convey your sympathies without requiring you to compose an entire message. This option is appropriate for many situations, including when the person is a co-worker that you only knew by name or someone you knew in passing in the community. Just make sure you include your full name so the person knows who the card came from.
A Phone Call or In-Person Visit
A phone call or personal visit is often the appropriate method of conveying your condolences when it is someone you knew very well or were related to. However, many people are not sure what to say and avoid the one-on-one interaction. The important thing to remember is that it is the fact that you called that the bereaved will remember more than what you say. In fact, don’t feel like you have to say a great deal besides “I’m sorry for your loss” or some other version.
If you are comfortable talking about the deceased, you can communicate your feelings to the person. It is appropriate to reminisce about special memories or occasions. You can even tell a funny story about the deceased person without feeling guilty. In fact, it may be just what the other person needed to hear after all of the somber moments and sadness they have been feeling.
Timing
The timing of when to express your condolences through the various methods can vary. There is no hard and fast rule. For instance, if you just heard about someone’s death even though it was six months ago, you can send a letter or email stating that you just learned of the news. You never know when your message could come at a good time to cheer them up. Grief extends long past the funeral or memorial service.
You can also prepare the way for a phone call or visit through a letter or message by saying that you will talk with them next week or in a couple of weeks.
Your Choice
Any of these methods are acceptable ways of expressing your condolences for a loved one. The choice is up to you based on the situation and what you feel most comfortable with. After all, it is more important that the bereaved feel your support than in how you choose to show it.
Suzie Kolber is a writer at ObituariesHelp.org. The site is a complete guide for someone seeking help for writing words of condolences, sympathy messages, condolence letters and funeral planning resources.
