The financial challenges of those in the current “sandwich generation” (generally those in the GenX generation), can derail retirement plans and the emotional fallout of being stretched so thin also takes a toll. When you’re in the middle, self-care can help you manage all the demands.
Journalist Carol Abaya, who has studied aging and care giving, even went a step beyond the term sandwich generation. With a nod to the complex and complicated situations in so many families, she coined some new phrases for this kind of caregiving.
Traditional: those sandwiched between aging parents who need care and/or help and their own children.
Club Sandwich: those in their 50s or 60s, sandwiched between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren. OR those in their 30s and 40s, with young children, aging parents and grandparents.
Open Faced: anyone else involved in elder care.
No matter where you fit, you are going to feel some additional stress in trying to take care of the needs of so many people. Here are some tips to help.
Talk to Others
You aren’t the only person going through what you are going through. Other people who are also juggling so many things will have some tips that will help you navigate these sometimes confusing paths. Whether it is a friend, a coworker, a faith leader, or a professional, talking with others and sharing experiences helps.
Get Help
Getting help doesn’t always mean paying for help. Look for assistance by asking what’s possible. If they are old enough, get your kids to help with tidying up your parents’ home. Enlist coordinators to help set up driving help—those can come from senior centers, volunteer organizations, or even the medical community. If you can afford help, paying for someone to do yard work or clean the house can be a huge time saver, as can grocery delivery services.
Try to Care for Yourself
In the middle of so much caregiving, any time for you seems impossible. And sometimes, it will be impossible to take care of your own needs when so many others are depending on you. But if your tank runs dry, there’s nothing left for the people you need to help or for the career you love or for the relationships you want to nurture. Because burnout is damaging and pervasive, it’s important to recognize when you need a break and what that means for you. A break can encompass a whole range of experiences—figure out what will bring you relief. Even the smallest break can offer huge benefits in recharging your outlook,
The Usual Suspects
It is repeated so often because it’s important. The trifecta of nutrition, sleep, and exercise keeps you on an even keel. Look at your pillars on a weekly basis so you don’t feel like each day has to be perfect. Overall, try to fit in some more movement, more sleep, and nutritious food that gives you energy. Being aware is half the battle and the small efforts add up.
Being in the sandwich generation means you are taking care of the needs of many people all while trying to juggle your own family and work life. It’s not easy, but taking care of yourself is an essential part of managing this time successfully.
Are you like most nurses, filling your days with taking care of everyone else but yourself? That may seem heroic, but putting yourself last ultimately leads to a dip in on-the-job productivity and career burnout. But when you take care of your own needs first, not only do you benefit, and so do your coworkers and patients.
Is there a secret formula to boosting your health and happiness? Fortunately, there is no secret. It’s simple, though not easy, to make yourself a priority in your own life.
By attending to your own self-care, you’re more likely to head off the symptoms of overload which can cut your nursing career short. But where do you start, when there are so many components of a happy, healthy life?
Self-care is easier to establish if you know what’s most important to you at this particular point in time. You may want to focus on a major life activity—eating, exercise, sleep, or relationships—because they seem like obvious drivers of well-being. Improvements in any of those important areas can certainly yield major benefits, but they’re usually tough to crack.
Even if you highly prioritize self-care, it’s difficult to say “No” to that big slice of cheesecake, fit in workouts, or turn in for bed on-time. Especially when your schedule is already jam-packed, your shifts are long, or you work nights.
Why not try another tactic? Consider setting a self-care habit in motion by starting with baby steps toward your ultimate goals. Improvements don’t have to start in your “hot zones” either. Like dominoes, a shift in one habit or routine will cascade down to every other area of your life.
Here are two powerful ideas to spark your thinking:
1. You Need a Budget.
Who even uses a budget anymore? It sounds so old-school, like playing music on 8-track tapes and paying with paper checks at the supermarket. But sitting down to crunch the numbers, and getting a grip on your income and outgo, can be an effective stress-reliever. Your financial situation may remain the same, but seeing the actual facts can stop the free-floating anxiety that’s fueled by imagination.
Your budgeting system doesn’t have to be fancy, either—just use a notebook and pencil to note and track your household expenses and income. Some people like to allocate cash to specific purchases, using an envelope system popularized by Dave Ramsey. One envelope for cafeteria lunch money, another for…
And don’t forget to plan for seasonal outlays (holiday gifts or taxes) and emergencies. That way if you need to replace a dental crown, you’ll have a buffer fund to cover it, and won’t panic as much.
There are also many apps out there for budgeting, including the grand-daddy, You Need a Budget (YNAB).
2. Do a Digital Detox.
Are you always texting, Skyping, Tweeting, Facebooking, or otherwise deep in your digital stream? That’s the case for many “social media natives” and even for their oldest colleagues.
Even if you’re following social media guidelines for nurses in your workplace, you may find that digital is a distraction, always in the back of your mind, ringing, buzzing, or vibrating to get your attention. You could get relief from all sorts of social media ills, from text neck to FOMO, by choosing a set time to disable it, for hours or days.
Some people like to set aside long weekends to go away on formal retreats, like the ones offered by Digital Detox while others simply reduce everyday use. Digital refers to all smartphones and computers (sometimes TV’s too), so resolving to stay away from electronics and screens after 8:00pm could be enough to calm your down, and make it easier to get to sleep at a decent hour.
Oh, but wait, what if you ditched your alarm clock? There are all kinds of new devices for improving your sleep hygiene that you may want to check out. One example is the Philips Wake-Up Light Alarm Clock with Sunrise Simulation, which costs less than $50. The light on this clock slowly gets brighter over a 30-minute span, to gently awaken and welcome you to the new day.
It’s important for you (and your patients) that you engage in self-care every single day. So resolve to take a baby step toward making yourself a priority in your own life.
The term “self-care” is a big umbrella that covers a ton of wellness topics, such as life-balance, stress relief, weight management, fitness, relationships, spirituality, and much more. It’s tough to pinpoint just one life arena you’ll want to make changes to in order to become happier and healthier. But it’s possible and may make your self-care journey easier.
Here’s a tip: Start with sleep.
Why Sleep Is So Important
This is probably the number one area where you can improve your health and well-being. Nurses are notorious for not getting enough sound sleep on a regular basis—odd shifts and rotating schedules don’t help the body to regulate rhythms. Fatigue is one thing but it’s worst when a sleep-deprived nurse actually nods off while at the bedside or on the road after a late shift. Obviously, that’s extremely dangerous—for you, your patients, and everyone near you.
Most American adults don’t meet the guidelines for sufficient sleep (seven to eight hours) and many of us consider it a luxury we can’t afford, or try to “bank” shut-eye by sleeping for 5 hours on work nights and 10 on days off. We like to think that getting along on little sleep is a sign of superhero strength and those who prioritize rest are weaklings. None of those beliefs are accurate. Here’s how you can take care of yourself, in spite of our hyperactive society’s mistaken take on rest and sleep.
The Basics of Sleep Hygiene
Chronic sleep deprivation and sleep disturbances, such as sleep apnea, can be improved by following good sleep hygiene protocols. Try these tips:
Cut out caffeine later on in the day. (That includes certain soft drinks and chocolate, as well as coffee and tea.)
Drink alcohol in moderation, or not at all, because it’s more likely you’ll wake at night after a drink or two.
Another reason to stop smoking cigarettes: nicotine interferes with sound sleep.
Finish your last meal of the day a few hours before bedtime so you’re done digesting.
Don’t do heavy exercise late at night, though gentle stretching or yoga can be a restful entrée to sleep.
Setting the Right Environment for Rest
Digital sights and sounds make it harder to slow down and get ready for bed. Younger nurses, being social media natives, are especially prone to texting, tweeting, Pinteresting, and streaming movies in their bedrooms. Make it a rule to keep your smartphone, iPad, or other devices out of your bed. That way, you won’t be tempted by social media, news, or entertainment right up to the time you turn off the lights. Some nurses even set a digital curfew and power down devices two to three hours before bedtime.
When Your Mind is Too Busy to Turn Off
Some nurses find that the simple act of journaling before bed helps them quiet the worry, anxiety, and fears that may be keeping them awake. Nursing is an emotional occupation and there isn’t always an opportunity to process what happens during the day while on the job. That’s when a notebook and pen by the bed can be a curative. One of the principal researchers in the area of journaling and health is James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at The University of Texas at Austin and author of “Writing to Heal.” His studies have shown that expressive writing (journaling) is a simple and effective way to relieve stress while boosting both mental and physical health.
With summer comes lots of daylight, a little more time to enjoy the outdoors, and hopefully, some vacation time. Whether you’re spending two weeks away from work or trying to cobble together two days off in a row this summer, use this fleeting season to take care of you.
1.Enjoy the Harvest
Summer’s plentiful fruits and vegetables make eating healthier a breeze. Do your best to get a colorful array of produce into your diet, but don’t obsess over how much you’re getting. Look at your total intake over a week, not a couple of days. All those salads, bowls of watermelon, and stir fry dinners really add up. Even fresh strawberry shortcake holds promise!
2. Take in the Sun (Carefully)
Leaving winter’s darkness behind is a relief and all that extra daylight is a bonus for anyone who likes to be outside. But with more time in the sunshine comes a real need to be careful about getting too much sun. Even if you aren’t spending days at the beach, being out in the stronger sun while you’re running errands, driving on long road trips (or even to work), and just barbeque hopping can all add hours of unexpected exposure.
You might not even realize how much skin-damaging sun you’re getting. To be safe, put on a coat of sunscreen every morning. Don’t worry about smelling like a tropical island or being sticky with lotion—there are lots of regular body lotions with a built in sunscreen that won’t make you smell like coconuts.
3. Get Some Rest
The lazy days of summer can be a myth. There are lots of places to go, parties to attend, and friends and family stopping by. With all that activity, it might seem like you get less and less sleep during the summer months. Even if you’re staying up late for fun or getting up early to exercise with the sunrise, keep track of how your body feels. Nurses work hard and you need to get adequate rest to be your best at work and to feel good on your own time, too.
Eight hours of sleep might not be possible—no one will dispute that. So if you can’t get enough sleep every night, take advantage of down time to rest when you can. A 15-minute break to read, listen to music, or just close your eyes can do wonders for your health and your mood.
4. Get Out There
Summer brings more people into your life. You might meet new neighbors at a block party or new coworkers at a work event. Standing in an endless line for a rollercoaster gives you lots of time to chat with someone nearby, and so does a crowded beach.
Take the time to notice the people around you. Everyone has a story and learning about others is a great way to gain a new perspective on your life. You never know how one interesting encounter can lead to a new career opportunity, a new hobby, or a new turn in your path.
5. Move More
You don’t have to run your first marathon, but moving more in the summer just feels good. A new and ambitious exercise plan is ideal, but not many people can or are willing to stick with that. Just get out and stroll your downtown. Walk the dog in a new place. Stretch in the morning and at night. Lift a few weights while catching up on all those movies you’ve missed. Rollerblade or roller skate with the kids. Shoot some hoops in the driveway or at the local park. Swim. Just move a little more than you normally do.
6. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
It’s much easier to live with what feels comfortable to you, but summer is a great time to try something new. Go to a concert that’s nothing like your regular playlist. Read a new genre or try reading different blogs. Learn enough of a new language to get by if you travel. Sign up for a class to get a new certification and connect with other nurses. Go to a seminar about one of your hobbies and talk to new people. Paint a room in your house a new color.
Part of making great summer memories is the things you do that give you unexpected joy.
As a nurse, your job is to focus on the health and healing of your patients. But in order to give them the best care possible you need to take care of yourself first. You may have heard the phrase “self-care,” but what does it really mean and how can you put it into practice in your nursing career? Here are four easy ways that you can start today to enhance your self-care and ultimately enhance the care you give to your patients.
Take a Break
If at all possible, take a break during your shift and step away from your work area. Go eat lunch outside, take a quick walk or sit quietly and read. Getting away, even for 15 minutes, will help you get centered and relieve stress. Even if you don’t have time for anything more than a five minute restroom break, use that time to take deep breaths and close your eyes.
Eat High-Energy Snacks
When working long shifts, you’ll want to be sure you have plenty of healthy, high-energy snacks that are quick and easy to grab and eat. You simply cannot be a great nurse if you’re hungry or have low-energy. Keep string cheese, almonds or even a protein bar or shake handy for snacking. The protein will help ward off hunger and give you the energy you need to get through the day.
Stay Positive
Avoid falling prey to workplace gossip or negativity. If your work environment is negative, it will have a negative impact on your emotional health. Again, use your break time for good self-care (eating a healthy meal, walking, calling a friend) instead of venting with coworkers.
Exercise
Does your workplace have a gym? Is there a gym near your work or home? Regular exercise is one of the best ways to practice self care. Many healthcare organizations offer wellness and exercise classes. Be sure to actively participate. Exercise will help manage stress, keep you at a healthy weight and help fight depression.
Which positive act of self-care will you do today?
